Anonymous asked:

It is hard to be emotional isn't it? Its one of those things that''s one extreme or the other. Tough to find the in-between. Its odd to share the feelings of others without offloading your own. Made worse if you have a responsibility (or helpfulness) trait then you'd actively or subconsciously try to "fix" things. Things that are better left alone are let loose into the world. Empathy is difficult, all or nothing. Sorry for the rant. What do you think? Does your worldview lens permit such thing?

i tend to think about this a lot too. 

i, personally have always been deeply emotional and initially it has been an all or nothing sort of situation where i either show empathy or indifference, and in the case of indifference, its a protective mechanism so that i don’t get over involved and get in too deep where I’m drowning in somebody else’s sorrows. and yes, you do tend to want to fix things and when they don’t fix you feel like you’ve failed, like it was your responsibility somehow and you didn’t fulfil it. 

i do think that being emotional is very hard. However, although difficult, it becomes easier when you learn to let go. that is usually something that is prompted by something that happens in your life that makes you realise that you really are not here to control what happens next, rather you are here to live and so just start to accept it and take it as it comes, this is a a slow and gradual process. for me, it involved the aid of a therapist. somehow, as you progress thought the transition you get a lot better at letting things come as they do, and go as they do, sort of like a traveller passing through life. 

there is a flip side to this though, being emotional is beautiful, it feels real, its like being so fully immersed in everything you do and everything you feel , when you go through a transition that allows you to control this, you become more cautious with your feelings, you become more reserved, your experiences have damaged you and even though the first time you had ever said the words ” i love you”  they just slipped out and it was so easy. you stand there in front of someone who you love thousands of times as much as the person who heard them that first time and they get stuck in this massive lump of hurt that still sits in your throat. i suppose thats the part of the learning curvet that I’m at right now and i know one day it will get better. 

so i suppose what I’m trying to say is that, being emotional is hard, but that doesnt mean cutting yourself off from emotion is easier, there is some sort of balance that we have to reach, where we immerse ourselves in the right emotions and the ones that matter enough for us to immerse ourselves in them. its a massive learning experience and its hugely difficult but with every step you start to discover a new you that you like more and more with each progressive stage. 

if i had to leave with a word of advice though it would be this. 

show sympathy, but empathy is never a good thing, not for prolonged periods of time i mean. if you are able to be empathetic for a moment, it gives you insight but being empathetic indefinitely will destroy you. help without immersing yourself, you are more helpful that way. Keep feeling, but dont ever reveal your weakness, because vulnerability ushers exploitation and remember that you are human, its ok to fall sometimes, getting back up and working to fix it is what is important 

i hope this was useful and when you feel comfortable, please do come off anon. id love to know who this was :)

We fight about stones and metals
But he looks into her eyes
To melt something he never knew existed

I stand on the edge of loneliness
With a feeling that is the half empty
That would have not been
Without the half full i see in you

There are lumps in my throat
That form tumours whisper
“I miss you” from behind
The white and yellow noise
Of smiles complimenting
Starry eyed sparkles

Darling i keep falling
Through the gaps in the clouds
When the stars are too playful
to give me safe passage to you

And the ground below my feet
Has moulded itself to the shape of my body
Yet the void won’t get any smaller

Im not sure if people
Suddenly miss one another somehow

The moon tells me that your
Heart longs to feel a warmth
That holds my name
And ive broken through all the barriers
Yet the chains still hold us down

It turns out seas don’t part
With hearts and kisses and the colour red
yet if tenderness could cut through
The noise and the hurt
You would hear the songs
My soul would sing until
The sun decided to part with the sea

And she would tell you to stay safe
Behind walls made of white jasmine
She would hold her hands out to yours
And ask you to close your eyes in the darkness
So you could feel her light
In pulses that come from hearts
That know not the language of the tongue

But somehow no matter
how many times she tells me
That she loves you
All i can manage
Is a barely made out
“I do too “

i do too

- the romanticist 

we are standing on the edge of translucent haze laced with white and your eyes are the only thing that keep the ground from crumbling away beneath us

my reflection is a pair of upturned crescents engraved into memories we form within dreams written in “i love you”

we fall with the rain and evaporate with the sun yet your hands still find their way to mine in a sea of mixed emotions and unwritten futures waiting for our clarity

you steal away the moon every morning and gift him to me every night in a jar full of fireflies

maybe the stars you sent me found their way after all, along silicon cells and copper wires dispersed in a wireless connection only we can share

i look up to the night sky and imagine they form a mesh that holds us from letting go.

because you are the moon

we agree on stars that mean hope
like city lights that lead the way
to hearts that met on a detour
in a map of aspiring constellation

and i imagine that a thousand celestial nights
condense themselves in the upper right
hand corners of your hazel diamonds
as you reach into my dreams
and beat them into an eternal path
that dances along the creases
on my fingers and the folds
in your forehead

perhaps you learnt to play the piano
reducing my heart to a series of
hammers and strings that moulded
themselves around waves of laughter
that tease the shore before unleashing
waves of something i still can not
come to name

and I’m still figuring out how
science chooses to separate reality
from a sun that kisses a sea
that orders its quenching
for somewhere along eternity
he decided that he was in love
with the way it hurt to descend down
into a melting ball of snow
that rolled into a pool of molten lava
where your heart asked mine
to go star chasing

let us go star chasing 

it’s the kind of haze that smears tobacco into the walls of your alveoli and leaves you gasping for more, sitting in a puddle of mascara and lipstick, wondering how smiles framed with fifties red became asphalt roads that lead the depths of a nowhere that never ends

the scar on the inner right thigh is where you learnt about nails that chip on vodka glasses and scratch their way down to the pits of stomachs where the butterflies don’t move.

and the way he rolls the white tablet around on his tongue is the only thing that keeps you coming back for more, drowning in elated episodes that don’t quite make it to long term memory because you can’t remember the last time you were called by your own first name

its 2:01 am and all you have left to reminisce is a series of fragments that once belonged to you, but the show must go on and so it does, with souls that die only to be sold and revived again with the hope of someday

they sew you into the beading in the red curtains and dispose of you every six months, behind diamonds and pearls and half drunken middle aged men looking for attention in your young aspiring eyes

you fell in love for the last time as they stripped away your old face

- cabaret style nights 

- the romanticist